Sunday, December 20, 2009

i am obi wan

I cannot explain what it is that I feel. The only way I can tell you how I feel is, and God this is silly, but, and I only say it this way because it's a cultural refrence that I think will make sense to you. So, yeah, I felt a disturbance in the force. Oh man, that's ridiculous. And now, I mean, this doesn't mean in my own deranged mind. This isn't something that's changed in me. I feel this change outside of myself. Like, look, I woke up and, I'd only been sleeping for a few hours. 3. 4, maybe. And it wasn't a dream that woke me, it was a feeling. Something changed and I woke up, startled, just sat up and couldn't sleep again for a long time. This change was something, something physical. It wasn't a mental thing, not a thought, not an emotion. It was something real. Something has happened to someone. I don't know what, or to who. It felt, masculine, somehow. It happened to a male. I don't know who. Father, brother, one of you. Something changed with someone. You, Ferranto, Landon. I don't know. It's bizarre and I don't like it, but there it is.

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