Oh Boy(s)

As time wears on, I find that there are a certain number of people in my life that only want me on conditions. There are these terms to our 'friendships' that I don't necessarily agree with, but then, who am I to argue. One does get burnt out on that after a time. So, one goes along, plays a long because something is better than nothing.

There are these boys, silly boys who will only have me on the condition that I belong to them. Silly boys.

Then there are those who will only tolerate me when they're other friends, particularly their girlfriends. In private, or rather the public that doesn't include the GdotFdot. At a party, let's say, I walk in, looking how I look and there they are, drunk usually. And they yell, and they smile, and they pick me up and swing me around press me to the wall and tell me how much they love me. "The things I would do to you if I were single". Look at that. "You shouldn't tease a girl".

Speaking of teases...Well, at least I'm aware of it.
In direct contrast with those who want me in combination with alcohol and other friends are the ones who want me around in public only. I know I'm being used, just let me know what for. Girls are particularly apt to falling into this category. We're friends when someone needs to be jealous. We're friends when you need to cry. We're friends when no one else will tolerate your bullshit. But, when the one you really want comes a-callin'. Well, that's my cue to find a nice drunk boy at a party. Innocent flirting and mutual ego boosts. That's what I like to call college.

10 things

Ten things I hate more than most other things (right now):
10) Rolly Backpacks
9) Internet courses
8) Small, dirty children
7) Flirty couples
6) Sexual tension I'm not involved in
5) Over actors
4) Children
3) Televangelists
2) White kids with dreads
1) Billy Mayes

I would that I had the strength. I can't keep falling, but what's there to stop me? Or, who? No one, nothing. There's too much that has to happen and no time to spare. Am I a glutton for punishment? This seems to be the case.

Oh dear

The fall is always a sad time. All that dying. It's beautiful.
Sometimes I wish that once, just once, I could wake up next to someone who wasn't hung over.