the day after this one

On the day after this one, maybe I'll learn. Maybe I'll cry. Maybe I'll finally let it sink it.
On the day after this one, I'll go ahead and talk, I'll really think about it, I'll 'deal' with it.
But, really, I'd rather not. I think I'll go ahead and keep on keepin' on (as it were).

Because there are those dark nights, those long silences when the pain creeps in, when the indescribable anger starts to boil up from the pit of my stomach. In these moments outside of time, I can feel my face burning, jaw clenching. I have nightmare flashes of my teeth popping under the pressure, shards of bone bloodying my mouth. Teeth, after all, are only bones pushed through gummy flesh.

I want to scream and I want to cry and I feel guilty because I don't. If I let it in, even a little, the old darkness comes streaming back in with it. Pain is pain is pain and I can't stand to lose the ground I've gained. So, for now, these bones are smilin'.