Thoughts of Jan. 11th, early morning

There's something inside I wanna expres-s
There's a weight I wanna get lifted off this ches-t.
But you're all distracted and sidetracked
sidewinding thru this tide
And I don't wanna inte-rupt.
I don't wanna make things harder
not for you
not for you
not for anyone.
So I'll keep it inside
'cause I ain't that attention stealin' whore
I ain't that des-pera-te for your
fake love your
momentary adoration.
I wanna say
it
I wanna tell
you.
But I'm not gonna bring things down.
I don't wanna shift this mood
in my direction.

But there's this - thing
inside
and it pulls me: down down
and it turns me: 'round 'round

It's this worm
between my skin and flesh
and it eats at my clean bill of health
and it grows
fat on my fat
and it - l i n g er s
crawls
between my flesh and my guts
and it twines itself 'round
my soft palated organs
and sometimes it
leaks
from my nose.
and - escapes
on my breath.
in angry passive words
and dark agressive acts.

And it holds me tight like a lover
warm
on those cold winter soul nights

And that, at least,
is constant
and that at least
is relief