Thursday, September 17, 2009

Deadlines and dedications

I know I play it off a lot, but everytime we have an 'event' it does stress me out a lot because I think of how many months this has been drawn out. Point is we HAVE to finish it. That may mean we can't drink around each other for awhile. idk.


I know. I don't know what it is. Why I keep fucking up, because that's all that's happening. Mistakes compounded for way too long. I want to talk about it, but don't know what else to say. I'm sorry doesn't even begin to cover it anymore and I'm beginning not to see a way out.

But I understand if you are going through a rough patch right now, and as a friend I'm here to lend an ear.

God, why are you so nice about me? I appreciate it. And I'm sorry I've been hurting you with this. I'm not as nice. In all honesty, I just feel as though I've been using you, using this, as some sort of comfort. Sick, right? But I can deal with that about myself, but I see now that it, that I am hurting you and that's the last thing I want.

I wouldn't have brought this up unless I was really worried about our friendship. But you don't need to say sorry anymore. It's just at that point now where it's either we end the friendship or we end the problem. I hate to have to say that.

But you're right. Didn't we say this? Were not those the tears? You're absolutely right.

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