Only girl in the boy's club

I think this should be archived for posterity.
(verbatim texts, spanning from saturday night, the 18th to sunday morning, 19th)

WB: Are you going to drink?
J: Your plan sounds brilliant.
(after a long night)
WB: Have fun at work.
J: Oh god. I just dropped Landon off. Time to clean Sarah's house. Did momma call you?
WB: Oh no, you must now dropped him off?! Guess no hunting. No, she hasn't called.
J: Okay, I haven't heard from anyone either. I tried to wake Lan earlier, but he was having none of it.
WB: hahah, yeah he was totally gone
J:Probably best he doesn't have a gun. Poor thing is hung the fuck over. Deadly combo.
WB: What time do you get home? I want to watch pushing daisies
J: 7. I don't wanna go home.
WB: Ha, you can't avoid it forever. My arm and hand hurt. Did I do anything that would hurt my hand last night?
J: No idea love. You didn't jump in the fight.
WB: Yeah cause I'm a pussy. I was just thinking how much more fun last night would have been if we were 'bad' kids.
J: If we were bad kids I would have gotten stoned and laid last night.

(Hours later)
J: My arm looks like shit by the way. We found more blood on Landon's clothes...when we found Landon's clothes.
WB: Haha, oh yeah, I forgot about that fight.
J: That fight? Wasn't it the only one?
WB: I don't know! I forgot about the fight in general.
J: Oh shit. Found my pants half buried in the couch. What does this mean?!?